10 Things You should Never Say to Your Child as Volleyball Parents
An effective leader allows exceptions to the rule for exceptional results or when circumstance demands.
John Wooden
Source: Dear Volleyball.
Do you want to know what are the things you should never say to your child as volleyball parents?
Would you like to know some practical tips to avoid these unhelpful statements?
Then keep reading!
You as volleyball parents, are an integral part of a player’s entire playing journey. You really look forward to seeing your child succeed in playing volleyball.
Since volleyball is such an emotions oriented sport, sometimes your unintentional comments can be a real hindrance to your child’s progress in the sport.
So to avoid this, we’ll take a closer look at the 10 things you should never say to your child as volleyball parents. Kindly note that I am writing it not to take a jibe at volleyball parents. Rather, when you know the impact of these unproductive statements, you won’t even use them unintentionally and this’ll inevitably help your child confidently share everything related to playing volleyball.
Let’s get started!
Did you know? In a volleyball match, both teams can call two timeouts per set for strategizing their plan of attack going forward, coach’s input to the players if needed or breaking the momentum of the opponents. Each timeout lasts for 60 seconds and can be critical in shifting the overall outcome of a match.
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Things You should Never Say to Your Child as Volleyball Parents
You Should Have Won that Match
This statement stings not only to your child but for every player that takes part in a closely competed match. They clearly know that they should’ve won the match.
In most situations, they even know the reasons for their loss. A lot will be running in their mind and when you say this statement as a volleyball parent, it hurts the most.
The natural human reaction after hearing this statement is to defend and try to reason for the loss, feeling frustrated/disappointed and becoming sad about the result.
It’ll be an unpleasant situation to be in for everybody and to avoid this, here are some pointers you can follow.
- Understand the pressure and expectation of that particular situation, encourage your child for their effort and once things get to a normal place, provide constructive feedback.
- Talk about the positives of the match and cheer them up.
- Emphasize their overall efforts and improvements throughout the match and ensure that if they continue this performance consistently, results will follow.
You’re Letting Your Team Down
This statement might come out when you are frustrated with your child’s overall performance in a match. May be your child endured a tough day on the court and didn’t play up to the team standards.
Your child has a pretty good idea of their performance in that particular match and the team coach/players would’ve felt disappointed about it as well.
They may even think that they’ve let the team down and when you say this statement, it’s a massive hit to their self-confidence and the damage is very challenging to repair.
As I said earlier, volleyball is an emotions oriented sport and instead of showing your frustrations, take note of these pointers and use them when needed.
- Understand the negative impact of guilt-tripping on your child’s overall confidence and you need to know that this one statement has the potential to change the entire dynamics of the team.
- Provide constructive feedback and encourage them with the positives that they’ve done throughout the match.
- Make sure to let your child know that you’ll be supporting them throughout both good and challenging times of their playing journey.
Why Can’t You Play Like Another Player?
Ah, the comparison! It’s the worst enemy for volleyball players and this applies to all sports players as well.
Comparing your child to another is truly detrimental to their progress in volleyball. If it happens on a regular basis, then there’s a higher chance that your child give up the sport entirely and move on to other activities.
No parent wants to see that. Right?
Here are the effects of comparison that you need to know.
- Comparison with teammates can lead to insecurity, anger and resentment.
- Comparison makes your child doubt their ability as a volleyball player.
- Constant comparing lets them believe that they aren’t good enough for the sport.
Instead of comparing, you can appreciate the unique strengths and contributions of your child in a match and it helps them to see their growth effectively.
You aren’t Trying Hard Enough
Although this statement isn’t intentional and you say it in the heat of the moment, you need to understand that it is an insult to the efforts that your child putting in to play volleyball.
Sometimes no matter how hard your child tries, things happen and they go wrong pretty quickly. This happens in all sports and also, it’s very difficult for a player to take it after putting in the hard work.
- Understand that there’s a lot of difference between effort and performance.
- Understand that effort isn’t solely reflected in match-day performance.
- Understand that consistent effort and perseverance will eventually lead to expected outcomes.
This is Embarrassing for Us
It is another form of guilt-tripping on your child. The loss hurts and when they hear this statement from you, it derails their motivation and confidence to play volleyball very quickly.
Also through this statement, what you are indirectly trying to convey is that they are the main reason for your embarrassment. It’ll be very disheartening for your child.
You may have been disappointed with your child’s performance in a particular volleyball match, but this isn’t the right statement to say at that moment.
The damaging effects of this statement are real and it affects your child’s overall self-esteem significantly as well.
The best thing you can do is to provide positive support, encourage them unconditionally and help them improve their performance the next time.
Video for Things You should Never Say to Your Child as Volleyball Parents (Part 1)
You Need to be Perfect
If there’s one statement that can increase the stress levels of your child multifold, then this is it. We all know that putting up a perfect performance in a match is pretty challenging.
A player can reach the near perfect performance and that’s it. You need to understand that there’s nothing called a complete perfect performance in volleyball.
- Don’t ask your child to be a perfectionist when it comes to playing sport.
- The pressure to be flawless and perfect is the main culprit to hinder your child’s enjoyment and growth in playing volleyball.
- Ensure to teach your child that making mistakes are learning opportunities and also ask your child to find ways to not repeating the same ones again.
If You Don’t Win, I am Not Happy
Your happiness isn’t dependent on your child’s wins and losses. This is obvious and in my experience, people who are manipulative tend to use such a statement.
But here’s the thing. The fact that you are reading this and you don’t want to utter this statement clearly shows one thing. You aren’t that type of person.
When parent’s happiness tied to their child’s victories, it puts unnecessary pressure on them. Overtime, the added pressure will diminish the love for the sport.
To avoid all of this, you need to separate your emotions from your child’s volleyball-related achievements. That way, your child will enjoy playing and you can support their endeavors in volleyball efficiently.
You’re Not as Good as Opposing Player
This particular statement is a perfect example of comparing your child to another player with an undermining tone.
Here’s an important thing you must to note as volleyball parents.
Your child’s performance from one day to another isn’t exactly the same and no matter how hard they try, it might not happen that way.
So please stop yourself before saying this statement and try to remember this one point.
Ask your child to solely focus on personal growth and development in playing volleyball. The results and expected outcomes will happen naturally.
You are a Natural Talent and You Shouldn’t Have to Work so Hard
It’s a wonderful example for a statement that is toxic positive in nature. I love this quote from -Mike Ditka.
Effort without talent is a depressing situation. But talent without effort is a tragedy.
Practicing and working hard consistently is a given for any sport player. By not practicing regularly, your child loses touch with volleyball and it’ll reflect in their overall performance in the match.
Your child may be naturally talented but when they aren’t practicing regularly and loses touch, it’s a tragedy for sure!
So how do you avoid this situation?
- You need to learn and teach your child the importance of practice and effort for succeeding in volleyball.
- Promote a constantly improving mindset as a volleyball player.
- Ensure to make your child understand the value of hard work and how it goes hand in hand with innate ability.
I Told You So
It’s an annoying statement to hear from you for your child simply because you predicted some outcome related to playing volleyball and it happened to be exactly correct.
Even though you are right, you should understand that it’s a harsh criticism.
This can also come across to your child as you being their parent, trying to show superiority.
On the other hand, when you use hindsight to criticize your child’s decision on the court, it diminishes their ability to make one effectively.
Be supportive as volleyball parents, provide positive feedback when needed and kindly avoid saying this statement.
Video for Things You Should Never Say to Your Child as Volleyball Parents (Part 2)
FAQs on Things You should Never Say to Your Child as Volleyball Parents
Is It Necessary to Have Dialogues Among Parents on How to Better Support Their Child in Volleyball?
Yes, it is crucial and in a way necessary to have dialogues among parents on how to better support their child in volleyball. Here’s what happens when they do it regularly.
- They understand the importance of avoiding harmful comments.
- They share ideas on how to effectively Promote positive reinforcements.
- They find out the value of building a supportive community for their child and how it’s critical to becoming a successful volleyball player.
- Learning from each other and sharing ideas on how to best support their children to make them good volleyball players.
What can be Achieved by Parents Having Dialogues Among Themselves on Supporting their Children in Volleyball?
Here’s what can be achieved when parents have dialogues among themselves on how to best support their children throughout the playing journey.
- Helps to create a nurturing environment for their children to succeed in volleyball.
- Parents will be able to contribute as a collective unit for their children’s overall development in playing volleyball.
- Parents will share ideas, tips and tricks on effectively managing everything around their children’s volleyball-related activities.
How can You Effectively Support Your Child in Volleyball Without Unintentionally Putting Too Much Pressure on Them?
The key to supporting your child in volleyball lies in fostering a positive and encouraging environment. Avoid statements that imply excessive expectations or comparisons with others. Instead, focus on appreciating their effort, progress, and resilience in playing volleyball. Engage in dialogues with other parents to learn alternative approaches and strategies for managing everything efficiently. By emphasizing enjoyment, growth, and sportsmanship over outcomes and results, you can support your child’s development in volleyball while nurturing their love for the sport.
Conclusion
All these statements listed in this post may come out of a volleyball parent either when they are frustrated about the performance of their child or they have no idea on the amount of negative effect it creates.
I really hope that you now have a clear idea on the things you should never say to your child as volleyball parents.
What are your thoughts about these statements?
Share them in the comments section below!
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Believe me from personal experience parents should be so careful. I was so hurt when I was young because one of my parents had nothing but critical things to say. Encouragement was always something that did wonders for me.
Hi Terra, thanks for your comment. It is disappointing to hear that one of your parents was critical towards your sporting activities. This clearly illustrates that encouragement is critical for any athlete.
Absolutely, hitting the right balance between support and criticism is crucial. Encouragement helps maintain their confidence and motivation.
Hi Lavanda Mihcelle, thanks for your comment. I totally agree!
This is a really great post to parents and highlights how you can easily demotivate and instead avoid these things and think of inspirational statements instead xx
Hi Melanie, thank you very much!
These are great examples and tips! Surely will share this to people I know who plays volleyball! We should always encourage our kids instead of criticizing them.
Hi Nadalie, thanks for your comment. Glad you found this post helpful. Happy to know that you are thinking to share this post with your friends who play volleyball.
You provide really helpful tips for parents. Sometimes it can be easy to say these things and not realise that they can be discouraging to your child.
Hi Lisa, thanks for your comment. Glad you found this post helpful for volleyball parents.
Sometimes when emotions are high, we tend to be insensitive of other’s feelings but as intentional parents, we should be mindful of those forbidden words and gestures.
Hi berlin, thanks for your thought provoking comment. I totally agree with you!
These are the examples of what NOT to say to anybody in any sport. Great reminder post.
Hi Celebrate Woman Today, thank you so very much!
Wow, there are so really hard things to read that parents would say to their kids but I appreciate this post to bring awareness on how discouraging and devaluing they can be. Great reminder for parents to take a deep breath and to think before they speak.
Hi Cassie, thanks for your encouraging and valuable comment. I totally agree with your points.
This is such an important, informative read for sports parents! Encouraging and supportive words can go a long way! Thanks for bringing awareness to unnecessary negativity when it comes to volleyball parents.
Hi AJ, thanks for your comment. Glad you found this post helpful for volleyball parents. I completely agree with you.
This is such an important topic! You’re right it can be so easy for a child to get discouraged when parents aren’t supportive or cheering them on. Positivity will help keep their spirits up as they grow and learn more Volleyball!
Hi Katherine, thanks for your thoughtful comment. I completely agree with you. Encouragement from parents is critical for a child to successfully play volleyball or any other team sport.
By addressing the things parents should avoid saying, it helps foster a positive and encouraging environment for young athletes. The promise of practical tips makes it a must-read for any parent looking to contribute constructively to their child’s success in volleyball.
Hi Sue-Tanya Mchorgh, thanks for your comment. Glad you found these things from the post helpful for volleyball parents.
It’s best on the whole to use positive rather than negative language when talking to children. This can otherwise impact their enjoyment of the game and affect their ability to play well.
Hi Melanie E, thanks for your thought provoking comment. I can’t agree with you more!
I agree. I have sat on the sidelines when my kids played sports and there was always at least 1 parent saying things like this. There is a place for constructive criticism as there is always room for improvement. But children do well with encouragement and support.
Great read.
Hi Victoria Prasad, thanks for your invaluable comment. Glad you found this post helpful. I totally agree with you that children thrive in sports with their parent’s encouragement and support.
It’s important to support our young athletes positively! Understanding what not to say can make a big difference.
Hi Lavanda Michelle, thanks for your comment. I totally agree with you!
Great tips on how to encourage your child. I think this mindset also works well outside of the volleyball court too!
Hi Lisa, thanks for your comment. I totally agree. It can be applied outside of the volleyball court too.
After reading your list of what you should say, it’s interesting to hear what you shouldn’t say! You should never put pressure on your child in a sport.
Hi Jupiter Hadley, thanks for your comment. I totally agree. Putting pressure on a child in any sport won’t work.
Great article! It needs to be shared far and wide for all parents of student athletes.
Hi Gina, thanks a lot for your kind words! It truly means a lot.
This is a thoughtful article that every volleyball parent should read! Understanding the impact of our words can make a huge difference in fostering a positive and supportive environment for our young athletes.
Hi mark berg, thanks for your comment. I totally agree with your points!
Talent without effort really is a tragedy. And we don’t want our kids to be or feel entitled!
Hi Rosey, thanks so much for your thoughtful comment!
Anything that puts too much pressure on kids must be so bad for them. Thanks for highlighting not just what to do, but what not to do/ say x
Hi Rhian Scammell, Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I totally agree!
Parents really need to speak kindly and be encouraging to their kids in sport. Criticising and talking down to them is no help at all.
Hi Yeah Lifestyle, thanks for your thoughtful comment. I completely agree!
All of these tips on what not to say to your volleyball playing children are spot on! We should keep these in mind and only be encouraging.
Hi Stephanie, thanks for your thoughtful comment. I completely agree!
These are all good things to keep in mind as any parent of a child in sports. It is important to be supportive and give positive, uplifting feedback.
Hi Marysa, thanks for your valuable comment. I completely agree!
This is such an important read!! Parents should never make comments like this to their children regardless of what sport they are playing! Support and encouragement are so important!!
Hi AJ, thanks for your comment. I totally agree!
Positive reinforcement is crucial for an athlete. This a great article with good tips.
Hi Pauline Stephens, thank you so very much. I totally agree!
Great article and tips!
Hi Erin, thank you so very much!
Yes! I coached competitive soccer for years, some parents are so challenging. I wonder if they heard themselves in playback would they cringe at what they say to their kids.
Hi Sandi, thanks for your thoughtful comment. Very happy to know that you’ve coached competitive soccer for several years.
It’s very disheartening to hear parents speak to their kids this way. My kids played multiple sports growing up and I now have 5 grandkids involved in sports. I make it a point to tell the kids to just have fun and learn. Winning isn’t the important thing in youth sports. That’s just my opinion. These are great tips for what not to say to your kids as volleyball parents or any other sport. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Karen Kasberg, thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. Glad that you found these statements helpful for volleyball parents. Very happy to know that your kids and grandkids all involved in multiple sports.
These ring true for all other sports too. I’m sure it can be hard being a sports parent and finding that balance between encouragement and support. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Tammy, thanks for your comment. Glad you found these statements helpful.
Great information! A lot of people don’t realize the impact some of the things they say can make whether they are just trying to be encouraging or not.
Hi Luna S, thanks for your comment. I completely agree with you!
These should never say sentences should never be said by parents to their child, period!!! “You’re Letting Your Team Down” I can’t imagine how damaging this is….GREAT POST.
Hi karen, thank you so much.
This is a post every parent of an athlete needs to read. I’ve seen parents overtly criticizing their kids at games, and then I’ve seen parents accidentally crush their kids by trying to motivate them in the wrong way.
Hi Ben, thanks for your thoughtful comment. Glad you found this post helpful.
I think every sports parent needs to read this. I heard so many parents absolutely tearing their kids down at games when my son played junior and high school sports.
Hi Beth, thanks for your comment. Glad you found this post helpful. It’s very sad to hear this, and that’s unfortunately what happens sometimes. Parents need to take the emotions out of the match and only support their kids.
As a volleyball parent, this blog post really resonated with me. It’s so important to be mindful of the things we say to our children, especially when it comes to their performance in sports. This list of 10 things to never say to your child as volleyball parents is a great reminder to be supportive, encouraging, and positive in our interactions with our young athletes. Communication is key!
Hi Nicole, thanks for your comment. I completely agree with your points. Very happy to know that you are a volleyball parent.
Thank you for the reminder what not to say to my daughter. Sometimes I am so engaged in the game that I do make unnecessary comments. I need to watch it.
Hi Monika Harrison, thanks for your comment. Glad you recognize that you make unproductive statements sometimes. It happens in the heat of the moment and I am happy that you find these tips helpful to rectify them.
It is so sad to have to even write a post on this, but there are some parents who do this some meaning it, others thinking it is encouragement. No matter what your child is doing you should never put them down like this
Hi Samantha Donnelly, thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. I completely agree with your points. The main aim of this post is to spread awareness among volleyball parents and sometimes, unproductive statements come out in the heat of the moment. I hope volleyball parents find these tips helpful.