Things Not to Say to Your Child from the Sidelines as Volleyball Parents During a Match

your first responsibility is to be the best you can. There is nobody else like you, so why try to be like anyone else?

Frank Robinson

Source: Volleyball Expert.

Wonder of Volleyball is reader supported. Some of the links contained in this post are affiliate links. If you click and purchase through those links, we’ll get a commission at no additional cost to you. Read our full disclaimer here.

Thanks in advance for supporting our work!

What are the things not to say to your child from the sidelines as volleyball parents?

Would you like to know how these unhelpful statements affect your child and what to do instead as volleyball parents?

Read along to find out!

The spectators and parents from the sidelines of a volleyball court play a crucial role during a match.

In this post, we’ll take a look at the things not to say to your child from the sidelines as volleyball parents, how these statements are unhelpful and what to do instead.

Let’s get started!

Did you know that Kerri Walsh Jennings, a legendary volleyball player, holds the record for the most Olympic beach volleyball gold medals, winning three consecutive titles from 2004 to 2012 with partner Misty May-Treanor.

Pin this post to your favorite board!

Things Not to Say to Your Child from the Sidelines as Volleyball Parents

What Were You Thinking?

This statement directly implies that you are criticizing their mistake. It surely hurts more than helps, questions their decision-making and can shake their confidence.

It’s a seemingly simple question that carries a harsh undertone. While it might stem from frustration or confusion, it criticizes their skills.

Volleyball is a fast-paced sport, and players often make split-second decisions. By asking this, you’re not just questioning their choice.

You’re undermining their ability to trust their instincts on the court.

Instead of voicing frustration, take a step back and remember that mistakes are part of the learning process. Offering support and encouragement can help your child refocus and recover after a challenging play.

If you truly wish to discuss their decision, save it for after the match, and frame it as an opportunity for growth.

Your child doesn’t need a critic from the sidelines. They need a cheerleader who believes in them, no matter what. Silence or positive reinforcement like ‘Shake it off!’ or ‘You’ll get it next time!’ can go a long way in helping them stay confident and motivated.

Why Can’t You Play Like Them?

It is an easy and poisonous confidence killer. Comparing your child to another player, especially during a match, can do more harm than good.

Statements like this suggest that your child’s efforts are not enough and that they need to measure up to someone else’s standard to gain your approval.

Volleyball is a team sport, and every player brings their unique strengths to the court. By comparing them to others, you risk discouraging your child and damaging their self-esteem.

Such comments also create unnecessary pressure, making them overly focused on their perceived shortcomings rather than improving their own game.

Rather than comparisons, try acknowledging their individual progress and efforts. Celebrate small wins, such as a well-executed pass or a determined hustle for the ball.

Reinforce the idea that growth is personal and that they are valued for their own contributions to the team.

Ultimately, your child needs to hear that they are enough just as they are. Encouragement and trust in their abilities will empower them far more than any comparison ever could.

You Should Have Done It This Way

It is a dangerous statement for your child. This undermines their autonomy and immediately implies that you are trying to coach from the sidelines, which can confuse and frustrate them.

During a match, your child is already processing multiple factors like game strategy, teamwork and split-second decisions.

Adding unsolicited advice from the sidelines only creates more noise and pressure. It may also conflict with their coach’s instructions, leading to confusion and potentially disrupting their focus.

While your intention might be to help, this statement suggests that your child’s decisions are inadequate. Over time, such comments can erode their confidence and discourage them from taking any initiative on the court.

Alternate to correcting them mid-match, let the coach handle the teaching moments. Your role as a parent is to provide unconditional support.

Phrases like, ‘You’ve got this!’ or ‘Great effort!’ can help keep their morale high. Post-match, if they bring up the play, you can engage in a constructive discussion about their choices.

Remember, fostering their confidence and independence is far more valuable than perfecting a single play.

Why Are They Benching You?

Questioning the coach’s decision to your child is a big no in my opinion. This type of comment shifts their focus away from the match at hand and places it on circumstances they have no control over.

It can also stir up feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

Coaches make decisions based on what’s best for the team at any given moment, whether it’s to strategize, manage player fatigue or address performance issues. Your child may not understand these reasons fully, but questioning the decision during the match adds unnecessary pressure and might even make them feel like they’ve disappointed you.

Without raising concerns from the sidelines, focus on supporting your child regardless of their time on the court. Encourage them to stay engaged by cheering for their teammates or observing the match to learn new strategies.

After the match, if they’re upset about being benched, listen to their feelings and help them see it as an opportunity to grow. Positive reinforcement, like ‘You’ll get your moment to shine soon,’ can help them stay motivated and resilient.

A crucial thing to remember as volleyball parent would be this. Your unwavering support is what will truly lift their spirits, on or off the court.

Must’ve Gear for Volleyball Players

Women’s Volleyball Shoes

Men’s Volleyball Shoes

Volleyball Kneepads

Volleyball Elbow Pads

You Need to Win This Game for Us

If there’s one statement that’s a pressure inducer, then this is it. It signals that it is all about pleasing you instead of playing at their best.

This particular comment places an enormous burden on your child’s shoulders, making the match feel more like a test of their worth rather than a chance to enjoy and grow.

Volleyball is a team sport, and no single player is responsible for winning or losing. Framing the outcome of a match as your child’s personal responsibility can lead to anxiety, decreased performance and a loss of confidence.

It can also overshadow the joy and camaraderie that make team sports meaningful.

Alternately, focus on encouraging effort and sportsmanship. Let your child know that what matters most is their hard work, positive attitude and willingness to learn.

After all, winning is just one aspect of the game, and personal growth is a much more valuable takeaway.

Cheer them on with affirmations like, ‘Play your best!’ or ‘We’re proud of you no matter what!’ These simple words can help ease the pressure and allow your child to perform with freedom and confidence.

Focus More! or Try Harder!

These kinds of instructions are unnecessary to your child during the match and they are often vague and unhelpful, leaving your child feeling criticized without knowing how to improve.

When your child is already giving their best effort, hearing these comments can feel dismissive and demoralizing. Statements like this suggest that their current level of focus or effort isn’t enough, but they provide no constructive guidance.

In a high-pressure match, such remarks can add to their stress and pull their attention away from what truly matters (staying present in the match.)

Instead, use positive reinforcement to motivate them. Phrases like ‘Great hustle!’ or ‘Keep up the energy!’ are much more effective in encouraging them to push forward. If you notice specific areas for improvement, save that feedback for after the match when emotions are settled, and the conversation can be more productive.

You got to remember that your role during the match is to be a source of support, not additional pressure. Trust your child’s coach to handle performance-related feedback while you focus on building their confidence and morale.

You’re Not Even Trying Out There

This is the perfect example of a statement that undermines and belittles your child’s effort on the court. It makes them feel undervalued and discouraged.

In the heat of a match, your child may face challenges like tough opponents, fatigue or simply an off day. While it may appear that they’re not trying their best, such comments fail to recognize the physical and mental effort they’re putting in, even if the results aren’t immediately visible.

Statements like this can harm their self-esteem and may even cause them to withdraw emotionally from the match. Rather, offer encouragement that acknowledges their hard work, like ‘Keep going, you’ve got this!’ or ‘Nice effort out there!’

After the match, if you have concerns about their performance, approach the topic with care. Ask open-ended questions like, ‘How did you feel out there today?’ to understand their perspective.

Your child needs to feel supported, not judged, especially during difficult moments. Being a positive and understanding presence on the sidelines helps them stay motivated and resilient in the face of challenges.

That Was the Worst Play I’ve Ever Seen

The kind of impact with this comment and the public shaming that comes after are irreversible on your child. It prevents their willingness to take risks in the future.

Mistakes are a natural part of sports, and they provide valuable opportunities for learning and growth. When you make such a harsh statement, it doesn’t just highlight the error.

It magnifies it in your child’s mind and erodes their confidence. Publicly pointing out a mistake can also increase their fear of failure, leading to hesitation and reluctance to take critical initiatives on the court.

Instead, try focusing on their efforts and resilience. If a play doesn’t go well, say something encouraging like, ‘Shake it off, you’ll get the next one!’ or ‘Keep going, you’re doing great!’ These words help your child bounce back and stay focused on the match.

Post-match discussions are a better time to reflect constructively on mistakes. Framing feedback positively, such as ‘What do you think you can do differently next time?’ encourages improvement without damaging their self-esteem.

Your support and understanding can make all the difference in helping your child feel confident and motivated to keep trying, no matter the outcome.

The Ref Is Cheating Us!

Over-reacting to referee calls create unnecessary tension all around. This behavior not only sets a poor example but also creates unnecessary distractions for your child.

Referees are human, and while their calls may sometimes seem unfair, questioning their integrity loudly from the sidelines does more harm than good. It sends a message that blaming others is acceptable when things don’t go your way.

For your child, this kind of outburst can take their focus away from the match and create unnecessary stress.

Additionally, this behavior sets a negative tone for sportsmanship. Volleyball is about learning to handle challenges gracefully, and respecting the officials is part of that lesson. Instead of reacting emotionally, model calmness by encouraging your child to play through the adversity and adapt to the circumstances.

After the match, if you believe there were issues with officiating, discuss them privately with the coach. Let your child see that you value respect and composure, even in frustrating situations.

Ultimately, your behavior on the sidelines should inspire positivity and resilience, helping your child focus on the match and enjoy the experience.

Why Silence Can Sometimes Be the Best Support You Can Offer

Sometimes, the best way to show your support is by letting your child focus on the match without additional input or distractions.

As a parent, it’s natural for you wanting to encourage or guide your child during the match. However, constant comments from the sidelines whether positive or critical can be overwhelming.

They may distract your child from the coach’s instructions or their own ability to focus on the match.

Silence doesn’t mean you’re uninvolved. It shows that you trust your child to navigate the match independently.

Let your presence be the support they need. Clapping for the team or celebrating their effort without specific commentary reinforces your encouragement without adding pressure.

Post-match, create a space for your child to share their experiences if they want to. Listening without judgment or immediate advice helps them reflect and grow on their own terms.

When embracing silence at the right moments, you empower your child to build confidence, resilience and self-reliance. It’s a subtle yet impactful way to support their journey in volleyball and beyond.

FAQs on Things Not to Say to Your Child from the Sidelines as Volleyball Parents

How can You Encourage Your Child During a Volleyball Match Without Saying Anything?

You can show your support through non-verbal gestures like clapping, smiling or giving a thumbs-up. Celebrate the team’s effort and maintain positive body language throughout the match.

Is It Okay to Address the Referee’s Calls After the Match?

It’s best to leave officiating to the coach. If you feel a discussion is necessary, raise concerns respectfully through proper channels without involving your child.

How Do You Handle Frustration If Your Child is Struggling During the Mattch?

Take a deep breath and remind yourself that sports are about learning and growth. Focus on their effort, not their performance, and save constructive feedback after the match. Have a supportive conversation throughout the time you discuss with your child.

Conclusion

I put together this post for spreading awareness on the things not to say from the sidelines as volleyball parents, how it affects your child/their team and what to do instead.

I really hope that it is useful for you.

It’s your turn now.

What are your thoughts about this guide?

Would you like to add anything?

Share them away in the comments section below!

Related Posts

Things to Say to Your Child from the Sidelines as Volleyball Parents During a Match

The Best Christmas Gifts for Volleyball Parents That Show You Care About Their Support

10 Habits of Successful Volleyball Parents

LET’S BE SOCIAL!

YouTube Channel

Pinterest profile

Facebook Page

Quora profile